Surgery

I can still remember the feelings and emotions that took over me when I heard the words, “You need to have surgery.” So many thoughts hit me like a wave. I tried to ask the doctor as many questions as I could. I tried my hardest to get out of it. I remember calling my mom and crying because I never experienced surgery before and just couldn’t imagine this happening to me. I remember trying to wrap my head around it all and simply trying to understand. However, there is one thing that I DIDN’T do- I never got mad at God. I knew ultimately that this decision was in His hands. I knew He had the power to control if I really needed this surgery or not. I also never stopped believing that He couldn’t do a miracle. I  studied the word on the miracles God had done for people in the past. I rewatched my pastor’s sermons for encouragement and I was inspired by the testimonies of others. I prayed and went on fasts! I knew I was serving a God who healed the sick, made the blind see, raise the dead, had the mute talk and the crippled walk. So why wouldn’t He be able to miraculously remove this infirmity without surgery? I believed it with my heart, soul and mind. I even had all my loved ones praying the same thing over me! This is what increased my faith and instilled His peace over my situation. Each day leading up to my surgery, I was more ready to get it over with than fearful. I had even more expectation of a miracle than ever. That is the power of prayer and a life living for Christ.

The morning of my surgery, I actually woke up in peace. I have these devotional scripture cards that I like to read every morning. I always randomly select a card out of the pile, not knowing which scripture will be to start the day. That day out of all days, the card on top read, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Luke 7:50). Isn’t God good!? This was confirmation for me! God shows up in the little ways also.

Another thing that I had to come to terms with was that even if I didn’t get my specific miracle, God was still healing me. A healing in itself is still a miracle. There are millions of people that don’t get the chance of a healing. It was a miracle that the doctor was aware of things before it got worse.

So even when the doctor came in to explain how surgery would go, I was calm. I knew God was going to take care of me and everything would be alright. I had got my confirmation of that in more ways than one.

As I woke up and discovered that surgery was successful and everything went as planned, I was grateful. No, I didn’t get the miraculous experience of not having surgery, however my issue was fixed. That’s the blessing! God covered me during the process, which is the ultimate blessing. I even had a speedy and safe recovery journey- another blessing!

Even though at times, I still try to understand how and things happen the way they do, I know God knows and I am content with that . He showed me that He was taking care of me along and I can be confident that He will continue to do this. “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee”(Deuteronomy‬ ‭31‬:‭6‬). He showed me what trust really looks like. If I wasn’t living my life for Him, who knows what could’ve went wrong? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I wouldn’t be able to, “Walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). Nor would I have been able to truly believe that He would heal me because without faith it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6). Without Christ, this knowledge of His word would not be within me. He died for us just so we could experience the fullness of Him- in every situation whether it’s good or bad. In moments of sickness or any trial, Christ is the one that will get you through, not what the world offers. A life without Christ is not where anyone should be. This life is not only full of natural rewards but an eternal reward with Him in heaven.

Yes, it can be scary but it’s guaranteed that God’s surgery on your heart will be a beautiful blessing of a transformation and just what you need.